My Moment of Anxiety!

It’s psychologically proven that more than half of the population on Earth does not like examinations, tests, and quizzes. Me? Hell no! I dislike exams! Here’s why.

Few months back, in 23 March 2011, SPM results day. It was dooms day for many hopeless students, like me. That morning, I felt so unprepared to receive my SPM slip. I was nervous. Too nervous, I started panicking in my room. I had no idea what my results would look like. Bits and pieces of old memories came back to me. Language papers were normal. Math & science papers were hard but not too hard that I couldn’t handle. Moral & History papers were the killers. I hate these two subjects. Without studying them, I had to crap throughout those papers. True story. I knew I badly screwed up those papers. I could feel the presence of fear in me.

A knock came by my room. It was my mother. Knowing that she would start her crap in front of me, I dared not to open the door. I couldn’t face my mother at all. In fact, my mother’s voice was already all over my head. Her nagging voice kept repeating in my head like a spoiled MP3 player stuck on replay. However that morning was different, all she said was “Be happy for whatever you will get. Everything will be fine”. I was surprised. And there she went away. Those words made me calm and felt better. That’s why people say that mothers have the natural ability to calm their children.

Eventually I went back to school. The hall was full with ex-form 5 students. After months being separated from my friends, memories of school life gave me a nostalgic vibe. There was so much to catch up with my classmates, teachers and everyone. Everyone was chatting cheerfully together in their most comfortable way. Then soon, it was 11 in the morning. Everyone had to line up according to their respective classes.

Finally, the moment of truth was just seconds away. The fear was still filling me up like crazy. My heart was pumping like it was above 130 bpm. Sweat won’t stop trickling down from the back of my spine. Waiting in line, I could see some of my friends who already got their slips. There were sad faces, disappointed faces, satisfied faces, happy faces and masked faces from those who did not want to show their true emotions. It was my turn. My Hands and legs were trembling uncontrollably. Heavy-heartedly, I reach out both my hands to my class teacher to receive my results slip. After receiving it, I tucked it into my bag and quickly walked away. Thanks to my mother’s encouragement, I put myself together and pulled the slip out and took a look. There was a B+. It was a total disappointment. My heart finally calm down. Thank God. Anxiety was over. I was disappointed and sad but life must continue.