mohammad syahmie bin mohd daud

Dear Girl,

Thanks for your letter before this and I am grateful to have a person like you that’s still updating about me until now. Oh ! By the way, my life is good with full interesting work that I have now as a pilot. But since we were separated 10 years ago, I am still alone and my heart had refused to have another love.

Even on the last day I met you, I felt as if I belonged to you long back. Hard to explain, but from that very moment I was fighting with a part of myself wanting to get close to you. The harder I was trying to stop thinking of you, the more you were pulling me closer to you. I did everything possible to keep myself far from your reach and to hide this inner struggle of mine. Any gesture of yours was penetrating my heart and I had to show that it was not. I felt your pale eyes were telling something to me beyond words. My brain says it is just a delusion where you meant to convey nothing. My heart says there is definitely something in your heart which is not letting go of me. I believe in the world of intuition and you believe in the world of logic. I have no tangible proof or logic to support what I feel about you. I whole heartedly accept the bitter truth that we met exactly in the wrong time. I also understand that we have nothing to give and take from each other, except unconditional love. I cherish every next moment I spent with you, every little gesture of yours and everything about you.

It's been quite a while since you have talked to me. I wonder how you are doing each and everyday. I wonder if you ever still think about how we used to be. You are probably thinking how pathetic it is that I am not over you and that I am too young to know what love is. You may be right on both of those things especially about your study. But let me tell you something. There is such thing as teenage love and that's what I am experiencing. I still love you even you have decided to end of this between us. I cried for months every night. It felt like I was living in pure hell. I have been having this ache in my heart ever since, it's gotten a little better, but I still love you. Not only does it hurt to know that I lost the one thing that meant the most to me, but I also lost my best friend, before we started dating we always talked on the phone on most nights.

I still think about you everyday, I love going to school just to see you. Seeing you makes my day. I wish you had not changed, I mean it's not like you changed for the worse. But it's not like you changed for the better either. No one truly understand the pain I have experienced. I still wear the beautiful butterfly necklace you bought me for my birthday. Even though I should hate you with all my heart, I can't. I cannot stand to be mad at you. I could never ever hate you. It irritates me because you are not the one suffering like I am.

All I think about sometimes is why. Why did this happen to me, why the hell am I suffering ? But you are not a bad person. You are always the most sweetest person I have ever met in my life. You are so kind and thoughtful. You are so different from all the other girls. I could not help falling for you. I know, I should be over you. I mean people tell me it is different because of how long you guys dated, but no one truly has the guts to tell me to get over it. But, honestly. I cannot get over you. I just can't. No one can compare to you. No one has ever gave me butterflies like you did.

I still love you, and probably always will. Please note that, I will always be here for you, I still care for you, and that you are better then what you have become. I just wish I could have gone back before everything ended.Not sure why I'm saying this as you would have moved on by now. I wish I was not as pathetic as I am today to be holding a flame for you after so long. Time usually heals all wounds right? Well I cease to believe that it happens with a broken heart. I am trying to move on but every day is a reminder of what I am missing out on by not being with you.It hurts and I do not know why? My heart battles with my head and I just do not understand why. I just wish that my heart would accept that it is over, that’s what my mind has done and my mind must be correct, right? Anyhow, my heart wants a moment of your time to say I miss and love you.

I love you. These are the words that I heard so much but still I am waiting for it from your lips. Wisper it and give me wings for flying. Yeah !Whisper it. I need it from your lips from your sweet lips tell me for becoming angel only your angel. And I am ready for a long time to get start our love again. Our dreams are becoming true lastly.

THE MOMENT OF ONE BITE

Do you know our medicine actually have a few percent of drugs in its ? Info from World Health Organisation was told all types of medicine, antibiotics, antiserum and others are all made of drugs. That’s why we feel sleepy and like had a daydream when ate it. But there is one of the powerful tablet or pill newly made that is worst and dangerous for all human kind. I will share this story with you all that starts from knowing, try and addicted.

''Psst.. want some?'' my friend whispered suspiciously to me."Want what?"I replied curiously while looking at what my friend was holding.." Only the most brilliant tablet ever made by human itself!", he said in a very boastful tone. My eyes glowed in excitement. I looked at my friend as he inserted a purple coloured tablet into his mouth. I stared in envy as the sheer blissful expression gleamed upon his face. With each passing moment, I got desperate, I desired it even more. I tried to resist, but the desire to consume was overwhelming.

"Give me one!, I desperately pleaded with him as I succumbed to temptation. He placed the purple tablet on the palm of my hand. It was weightless, as light as a feather. I lifted my hand, slowly placing the tablet on the tip of my tongue. Bloody brilliant! It was like nothing I had ever tasted before. The flavour of the tablet blasted in my mouth. My vision blurred, as if the whole world has disintegrated. My hearing became limited, only hearing the collisions between the tablet and my teeth. The tablet melted in my mouth. The euphoric feeling was taking over me. Within minutes, the tablet totally dissolved. It was gone, all gone! The object that gave me an out of the body experience was finished in a flash. I needed more, I needed to have another go at the wonderful feeling."Give me another one!" I demanded from my friend.
"No! Theres only a few left! I am never going to give you another one!" shouted my friend in anger. I was furious, the only thing that prevented me from the zenith of my life was him.

I gave him a hard shove, so hard that he was forced back to a wall. Punched him as though he was a punching bag. I could no longer comprehend anything, neither my actions nor their impact. All I knew that I needed to have those precious tablets and this demon was preventing me from reaching them. My eyes turned bloodshot. I had intended to get that little treasure of his from him no matter what."THUD!", I delivered a fatal punch, straight to his ribcage."Theg..Theg...", the plastic containing the tablet fell out of his pocket. "MENTOS", it wrote on the wrapper. I placed a handful in my mouth as my friend laid on the floor, motionless."Tek! Tek!" the sound made by the collision of the grape flavoured mentos and my teeth coming out from the corner of a room in the Tanjung Rambutan Hospital, echoed through out the hallway.

In theory, I am the patient of this hospital for 10 years, but in practice I also addicted in drugs by imagine the mentos is the best ever drugs I had tasted before. Because of that I need to spent more times in this crazy hospital with freshy nurse.

Mohammad Syahmie bin Mohd Daud is a name given by both of my parents. I am 18 years old and had furthered my studied at Universiti Teknologi Petronas. My former school was at MRSM Merbok, Kedah for two years and I had taken my SPM exam there.

I am the older among three siblings. My second brother is Mohammad Syairazi and last brother is Mohd Syafi Aiman. We are all boys and does not have any girl in my family except for my mother. The only study in Chinese school is my last brother at SJKC Chong Hwa. Now, he is 10 years old. The second brother is study at SMK Sik, same where my mother worked there.

Both of my parents work as teacher. My father has graduated as a councellor teacher in UPM while my mother has graduated as a math teacher in UPSI. Now, my parents teach at the same place but different schools where my father at SK Chepir and my mother at SMK Sik. They teach for a long time about nearly 25 years ago.

Dr. Mahathir is my idol and I like him very much in a way how he talks, gives speech, reading books, even in how he was ruled this country for 23 years. My hobby is reading books because from reading I got more knowledge and can think like a matured man. Plus, reading was mentioned in Quran for 1500 years ago for humankind to learn and do a research.

So, I think this is much about myself. Hope there is have a special and unique in this essay for who is always thinking deeply.